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Neighbor-love, Bad, Bad Choices, The Perfect Druggie Boyfriend?
Dear Mrs. Web,
My friend has a neighbor that he believe is infatuated with him. He says he has had talks with her letting her know that they are great friends and that is as far as it can go. He claims that there has been no sex, not even a kiss on the lips. This has been going on for three months. She only lives 4 doors down from him and constantly calling and texting him and showing up at his door. He says she is a very sweet woman that would actually do pretty much anything he would ask. My bud says he does not accept any money or gifts from her. He also claims that being a neighbor of his makes it difficult to tell her flat out to leave him alone. They live literally 200 ft apart. How does he gently tell her they simply need to be neighbors? Please help.
The best way to end this is not to be available, to be always busy, to slowly stop responding to texts. In other words stop playing relationship tennis with her. Bringing another woman into the picture sometimes is useful: Oh Neighbor!, I want you to meet my best beloved, she has been away on sabbatical but is now back. Women in our culture sometimes mistake pleasantness and politeness from men as interest and love. They have so little connection with nice men, it is an error they often make.
Dear Mrs. Web,
I was having a really hard time at work, it was very high pressured, and it all got to me. I got drunk one weekend and sent my boss some real inappropriate texts and Instagram pictures. My wife has dumped me now, and I need to get somewhere to live. She's letting me stay in the house for now, and letting me sleep in our bed because there's nowhere else because our baby sleeps in the other room . I'm not sure whether we're separated or not.
Is that you, Anthony Weiner? Communication always helps here. I recommend that you ask your wife whether there is a chance to recover the marriage you had. If not, make other plans. It would be a really intelligent move for you to stop drinking. It is ruining your life.
Dear Mrs. Web,
I am 19 years old, recently fallen for an 22 year old guy. I've had a boyfriend before and I thought I was over the whole 'crush' phase. This man makes my heart skip a beat and gives me butterflies in my stomach. Surreal! He's almost perfect! Yeah, almost. There's just one thing stopping me from taking it a step further: He's an addict. His family apparently is full of people who do drugs. He's been addicted to opiates since the age of 14. I'm worried, and watching him go at the drugs during parties makes me sad and depressed. I want to help him, he's such a nice guy. But he's in denial!
There is nothing that can make one's life difficult and pain-filled like letting an addict into it. There is nothing you can do, for addicts have full control of their choices. This man wants to be high. It sounds like he has been high on drugs for 8 years. Run, do not walk away from this man. You seem to have a hard-wired “Rescue Mode.” People with rescue tendencies will often put their own future and well-being on the line in order to rescue. This happens again and again. You will not be well-served by spending any time with this man.
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