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Weekly Dating Column



Featured Book


Finding the Love of Your Life: Ten Principles for Choosing the Right Marriage Partner

Another reader recommended book and a treasure for any one looking for a forever life-mate.  You can also have the excellent workbook: Highly recommended by Dear Mrs. Web



Second Date? Goofy? Thank You, Dating My Best Friend? Time Limit?  Listen to Your Friends, Two Men,





Dear Mrs. Web,


I  am 18 and a student.  I recently slept with a guy at work and he has not paid attention to me since.  I have totally fallen for him.


We have known each other since primary school and he always was shy.  Why won't he speak to me, let alone date me?


He wanted sex. You gave it to him. He evidently does not want to continue the relationship. He is probably embarrassed.


Being somebody's tissue is not a good foundation to develop a relationship with any a second date.




Dear Mrs. Web,

I am 50 years old.  My family does not like my new boyfriend. They think he is goofy and refuse to have him around.  They want me to come alone. 


I do not have the heart to tell him that he is not invited to my family's house because no one likes him.  I am tired of making up excuses for why he is not included.


If my family really got to know him they would like him.  He comes from a good family, he does not drink and believes in God.  When I am with him I feel good about myself. We like doing the same things and he makes me laugh.  I have never been closer to anyone in my life.  We supported each other when his father and my mother died.


My sister wanted me to come help clean out my mother's things and she told me to leave my boyfriend home because no one likes him She doesn't care how I feel.  He was eager to help.  I told him it was canceled.  What should I do?


I think you need to make some choices here.


Is this man important enough for your to face your family and require them to behave politely and kindly to him? If he is, then that is what you need to require from them. Either the two of you or none of you.


Sounds like you let your family push you around, I bet this is not the first time.


If you are not able to face your family with this man, then I think it is time for you to let him go to find someone else who will love him and marry him and make him their best beloved.





Dear Mrs. Web,

Thank you for your timely and to the point response. As this was such a personal issue, I had no one to speak to -- and you were there! Thanks for helping me to see what was right in front of me.


You are welcome!  Remember to let your local newspaper know that there is a print version of Dear Mrs. Web.  Imagine!! Being able to hold Dear Mrs. Web...




Dear Mrs. Web,

I've known this guy for about 6 months and he's my best friend. We have a lot of things in common and we just seem to click. There is one problem though, my friend who introduced us has liked him for 4 years.


He pretty much ignores her and spends time with me.  I don't know what to tell her.  We are attracted to each other and we keep sneaking around so she won't see us in town.  I told her that I like him and she was upset.  Is there a easy way to tell her we are becoming a couple?

You did tell her when you told her that you liked him.  I hope your guy friend is not leading on this woman’s heart.


So, if you both start spending time with others as an established couple your friend will know what is happening. Stop sneaking. If she asks, tell her that you both have decided to become more serious about each other. She may need to withdraw from your friendship for a while. Give her the room.




Dear Mrs. Web,


I am a young girl who is dating a boy who likes me a lot.  All my friends know him and say that he is a user and a player.  He says he will commit suicide if he loses me.  I still like him but I can't stand this emotional stuff.  All the guys I know say to leave him and that he is a jerk.  I don't want to hurt him and I still care about him a lot.  It makes me cry.


You are being emotionally used by this young man. If he is threatening suicide tell your parents and have them call the police and explain his threats.


Dear Mrs Web thinks that it is important to listen to what others say about the character of the beloved. If you are involved with someone who no one can stand, then you are blind. The emotionally blind need guidance.  Listen carefully.



Dear Mrs. Web,


I am in a muddle.  I love two men. One is my ex.-boyfriend who wants to come back to me, the other is my current boyfriend. Both are lovely men, but feel more spiritually attached to my ex.  I  am unable to make a decision.  Do you have any tips?


I would choose the man who would marry me and commit to me forever. The one who would provide the best emotional and physical life for me and my future children. The one who loves me dearly.



Dear Mrs. Web,


I have been dating a guy over the net.  We are close and even told each other that we loved each other and we both really mean it.  I am almost 16 and he is 18. 


Now he won't email me back or even try to find me on the net.  I know he has a steady job but shouldn't he make time for his girlfriend?  Please tell me what to do.

I wish I could tell you what is going on, but I don’t know. From my mail I do know that Internet romances are fickle and fall apart easily.


I am sorry.



Dear Mrs. Web,


I work for an adult phone service. I met this guy on the phone line 5 years ago. He is very much in love with my character (basically me). The problem is, I don't look any thing like character. He is 31, I am 50, and separated from my second husband. He thinks I am younger and have never been married. I have 3 grown children and a grandson.


I am in love with him.  Do I tell him the truth, and risk making him  angry and lose my job or do I break things off and disappear. He has never been in a serious relationship and no matter how much I have tried to push him away, he keeps coming back. No matter what happens, he's going to be hurt, but it's hard to tell someone that you have lied to them for 5 years. HELP!


You have been taking this man's money for five years and providing him with sexual fantasy.  His reaction is not about you, it is about his fantasy of you. He doesn't really love you, instead he is in love with your lies.


People always get hurt when they don't live in reality.  Both of you have been caught in the web of lies you both have spun.  Your lie is your story and his lie is his fantasy.  Sad.


In your shoes I would end the relationship with the truth.  It would do you both some good to face reality.


Have you thought of a different line of work? 





Dear Mrs. Web,


I have fallen in love with a man who has been my friend for the past 5 years. He is a great person and we are close.  Since he likes being single and I am scared of rejection I have always felt pretty safe not having to say anything to him about how I feel.  We are both really shy when it comes to the opposite sex and he doesn't give me any idea about how he feels about me.


I have been driving myself crazy because I want to be in a relationship with him and he just slept with someone.  It was a one-nightstand but I feel that our relationship is in jeopardy.  He even mentioned the other day that we should go on a trip together next year.  I can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I love him.

I respect, love, honor and cherish this man as my friend and now I want more. But, I don't want our friendship to end or change. What should I do?

You are in a tough spot because the only way you are going to get what you want will be to risk the friendship. Remember you have been equally safe haven for him.


In your shoes I would begin by letting him know that you really enjoy him and that he is important to you. Love requires honesty and risk.


If things work out, your trip should be your honeymoon.




Dear Mrs. Web




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