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I would play a couple of practice games to get an idea of where the skills stand. If that is not possible, do what you think is morally and ethically correct. I would take my usual average and minus a few points for lack of practice and injury.

The only thing that hangs in balance here is whether you want to be a man of integrity and character - or just a moral zero. The fact that you bothered to write tells me that you really want to make the best choice, for yourself and others.  Remember, life is not a free-for-all.  When we use someone, we hurt ourselves.

You married a man who’s wife left him after 35 years or marriage. Your sister in law constantly changes the topic of conversation to his first wife –even when you have pointed out your discomfort. When you ask for conversation to change course, the participants become miffed.

This is your husband’s issue. You need to be loving but clear to him about your feelings regarding how his sister is treating you. 

He needs to discuss this privately with her in and explain to her that he will choose you not being hurt, over her, every time. That is his responsibility. 

I believe that spouses need to police their own relatives. Until this happens, I would not spend a lot of time with her.

You chose to have a tacky night with an annoying person who has been plaguing you with "dirty phone calls?" You didn’t enjoy it. You say you didn’t want it. Then you complain about his performance! It doesn’t add up.

You breached that "wonderful, trusting relationship" with your own beloved, and you left a packet of condoms in this creep’s girlfriend’s drawers to stir things up. Now you wonder whether you should end your friendship with this man?

Dear, you don’t have friendship with him. You were his depository. You took the bait and were used - behind the backs of both love-interests. Sounds tawdry to me.

The amazing thing about this whole letter is how little responsibility you take for what happened. He did this. He did that. On top of it he wasn’t very good…where on earth is your brain, woman?

To answer your original question, yes, I would end the relationship, such as it is.

Talking and dating are when people are shopping around. Your male friend and your girlfriend have been shopping together. I wouldn’t get too bent out of shape about it. There is no commitment going on here. You didn’t have much if he couldn’t manage a day without you and had to talk to some one different.

I think you have a friend who likes someone you like. Moreover, he likes her too. Gracefully bowing out is always an option. There are a lot of fish in the sea.

No. Training wheels yes, braces, no.

Yes, I do think it was a mistake to sleep with him. It sounds like you may not have control yourself when you drink. That is information you should use. If you lose your boundaries when drinking – stop.

I would talk to this young man. Explain that you stepped all over your beliefs and values. You behaved out of character. He needs to know that. You both need to make some decision the relationship. It is hard to backtrack out of sex. You may not be able to.

You need to set up some rules and develop some skills if you decide to keep dating. I would take some time and make some decisions about how you want to behave and in what kind of relationships. Personally, I think a sexual and emotional relationship without marriage is a heartbreaking situation. No commitment at the cost of ones heart and emotions. Look on my bookshelf for some different, more modern ideas about dating and courtship.

It sounds like he calls when he has a free moment. He is touching base during the day, just connecting. I know women who would walk miles - barefoot - over sharp glass, for that sort of attention.

The best way to find out how he want you to respond is to ask him the next time you are together. My husband does a variation of this; he wanders in from his office to my office, just to say hello. Not because he wants anything in particular, but just because he loves me, and we are connected. Or he’s bored.

The best way to handle this is with emotional distance and class. If this is a wedding where alcohol is served, do not imbibe. You will need to be sharp to stay restrained. I would not avoid your ex; I would just have other, more interesting things to do. I would focus on helping your son, the bride, your own extended family, and the bride’s family in any way you can. Before the wedding be frank with you sons and any one else who is close to you.  Tell them how difficult this will be for you. Moral support is important.

When confronted with your ex, be cool and distantly cordial. Have several casual sentences prepared in case you might feel overwhelmed. You are always safe discussing the beauty of the bride, the attractiveness of the couple, the excellent food, or the weather.

You will probably have to take some wedding pictures together and sit or stand somewhere near each other during the ceremony. Find out from the bride’s family how they plan to handle the service and reception. You don’t want any surprises. Take some deep breaths and focus in on the pride you have on such a momentous day.

Her relatives? Greet them cordially. If they refer to the divorce, change the subject with a quick statement such as "I am afraid that is something you will have to discuss with Bertha; don’t they make a handsome couple?" 

You may or may not want an escort to the wedding. Have plans for after the wedding festivities, whether it is dinner out or a relaxing evening with a good friend and a movie. Treat yourself well before, during, and after the wedding. You are hurt and you are healing. I always treat emotional pain and hurt just like physical pain. Don’t overdo, and leave the room when you need to. Don’t stress yourself; don’t worry if you are not perfect.

I don’t know whether you should date him or not. I think you will have to decide your comfort level. I would not actively encourage anyone to become emotionally entangled with someone, whose religion, race, ethnicity, or beliefs would rule out marriage. This is, in my opinion, just asking for pain and hurt for both. This is because I don’t consider dating a recreational activity.

On the other hand, I live in an African-American and Caucasian family and don’t see any problems with interracial dating and marriage. If you decide to date the man, I would treat it like any other date. If neither of you have had any experience with interracial dating; you might feel a bit awkward at first. When I am with people who are different than me, I always assume good will and good intent and overlook awkwardness, or ignorance.

I don’t think there is any subject in particular you shouldn’t talk about. Get to know this person as a human being not as a member of a race or group. Share bits of your life, talk about your family, and work…. If you decide to accept, have a wonderful time.

By the way, it never would have occurred to me that you could be offended by being asked out by someone of a different race. What’s to offend?

One builds character by responding positively and proactively to the life situations one faces. If it will make you feel better, you can think of your son’s necessary sacrifices as adding character that will enhance and support him throughout his life.  They don't teach this in college.

Yes, you are way out of line. We normally don’t follow people for peace of mind. We usually have internal resources to rely on when feeling insecure, to help us remain calm and think of appropriate responses. You seem to be missing or unable to use your internal resources.

Your girlfriend most likely ended the relationship because these behaviors indicate insecurities and controlling actions way beyond what is healthy in a relationship. She is wise. 

In your shoes, I would make an appointment with a therapist, or clergy. Your insecurities, and your ways of responding to them to it are making a significant negative impact in your life: you lost your relationship. 

You need to find, with help, a better way of coping with your feelings.

All two year olds tantrum when things don’t go their way. This is normal; it's why they call them the "terrible twos." Some times they are three or four before they stop.

Your little guy thinks he is in the center of the universe. He honestly does not have the brainpower to understand why the cosmos does not rotate around his desires. Therefore he tantrums because it is the only way he knows to tell the world it had better knock it off and obey him. This is how two year olds think, it takes them a while to get past it. Tantrums usually scare the toddler even more than it exasperates the mom. They sometimes get so overwhelmed they can’t stop.

Do not take it personally, he’s not mad at you, he is mad at what you won’t let him do. Let him know you are there to hug and hold him when he is ready. I always gave my kids their teddies and huggie blankets so they could have them right near them when they stopped. I would sit nearby and wait until they were finished.

Two-year-old children are not consistently obedient. That is not what they do, and they also tire easily. Don’t expect a lot from young children late in the day or before meals.

Little kids, like your young son, do not do things to make you upset. They do things to explore their surrounding and try things out. You get upset because you expect him to act differently than a two-year-old should. Relax, all moms do that at times.

Your two-year-old sounds like he has a lot of energy. The best thing to do with a high-energy child is to run it out of them. Out doors, walking, running biking, strollering -  whatever moves you - fresh air will be your friend. 

I have a friend who runs her three boys up to two hours every afternoon from three to five. She has the best aerobic workout any mom could want. Instead of hypnotizing your son with Barney, buy a secondhand sport stroller and walk. Go to the park and play. Ball, swing, slides, mazes, keep that little guy moving!

When things are really tough at my house in the toddler department, I make a cup of hot tea, grab a book to read and take the toddler, and stick him in a bubble bath with every possible bath toy available. Just a couple of inches of water. I sit there in the bathroom; I never would leave him for a moment, and read and sip tea while he splashes away. A friend’s mother once said parents would have fewer problems with their kids if they gave them lots of long, fun baths, and I agree.  A busy afternoon, a late afternoon bath and early supper for a two-year-old, with bedtime following, can help give a mom the down-time she needs.

By the way, stop potty training your two-year-old. Put him into pull-ups. Don’t worry about it. I always assume my kids would potty train sometime before they were married. That took the pressure off me. They all were dry when they were ready. Between 21/2 for my easiest girl to 41/2 for my little boy.

I had never spent any time with babies and children when I brought my first one home. I joined a weekly play group. I read a lot and leaned on many other moms for help. That’s how women do it. I also recommend Your Two Year Old.  It is part of a series explaining normal development and abilities  through age fourteen.  Another tremendous book is Your Baby and Child : From Birth to Age Five.  Both very helpful.

It is wrong and you are hurt and betrayed. I am sorry. Your father has been very clear he will continue to pursue this affair with your former friend. He is being clear that he heard your objections and that they don’t much matter.

You will need to develop some detachment about this situation. With the detachment, you should be able to weather the humiliation of watching your father make a fool of himself. These people are two adults who have decided to flout the moral conventions of your community and hurt many people. They should be rightly shunned by polite society. 

There is a difference between loving your father because of the relationship and accepting his behaviors. He is your father, that will never change, no matter what he does. That he is acting like a bounder and a cad is a fact and does not require any unconditional support.