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January 1, 2017

 

 

Trapped by Suicide,  Infidelity, Jailbait, Step-Mom

 


Dear Mrs. Web,
I want to break up with my boyfriend. We have a lousy relationship but we have been together for a long time. I am afraid he will commit suicide if we break up. What should I do?
A boyfriend is not a forever commitment. Break up with him if you want. He is responsible for his life and well-being, not you. Let his family members and friends know he may become suicidal so he can be taken to an emergency room to be evaluated if needed. Never let someone hold you hostage.
 

 


 


Dear Mrs. Web,
My wife and I have been married for 18 years. Last year I had a one-night stand with an acquaintance. Big mistake. I told my wife and I thought we had worked things out. Financial problems caused some additional strains in our marriage and I emotionally withdrew when she tried to help and support me. Recently my wife has started to party around with neighbors and comes home at all hours. Last week I showed up at one of the parties and she was kissing a buddy. I lost my temper and smashed windows and trashed the room. The bill came to over $2000.00 plus the emergency room costs for the gashes on my hands. She cried and apologized. I love her and our three children and I forgave her. Last night she went out partying again and was obviously focused on my old buddy. She is in love with someone else...and I know this guy he will just use her. He has been calling her all week. I donít want to face up to the possibility that our marriage is over. What to do?
You were unfaithful to your wife. She is playing around with your buddy. You lost control and are violent. She is pulling away from you. It sounds like you both are heartbroken and acting out. You need intensive marriage counseling. Pronto! With someone who values marriage highly and knows how to put together a severely tested relationship. See the link on my blue sidebar at my website: Choosing a Therapist. Couples have come through much worse and have gone on to have vital, passionate marriages.
 

 


 


Dear Mrs. Web,
My daughter is 23. She has been going through a tough time. A 16-year-old boy has had a crush on her and I am afraid she will start becoming intimate with him. They are starting to spend more time together. What should I tell her?
That he will be the age of consent in two years? That you will notify the boy's parents? That she will look lousy in the prison orange jumpsuits? I would emphasize the criminal aspect of messing with a minor. Tell her that you can understand her loneliness and eagerness for a relationship but that there are plenty of men out there who are not jailbait.
 

 


 


Dear Mrs. Web,
My husband and I have been married now for two years. He has a child from a previous marriage and who is three. My husband shares custody with his former wife. I am home now with our new baby and the little boy is now living at our house over 75% of the time. His mother is dumping him on us. My husband would like full custody, if he can get it, and he seem to expect that I am going to baby-sit this boy practically everyday. We donít have enough time alone with each other and with our baby. How can I deal with this fairly?
You married a man with a child and responsibilities that go beyond you and the child you created together. Your husband seems to be trying to create a family and it seems that your stepson is not welcome. This is the tough part of step parenting. There is a child here that needs a mom. It is time for you and your husband to get on the same page about this little guy. My heart goes out to him. Madam, life is not about being fair, life is about being responsible, courageous and coping with grace when life provides the unexpected.
 


 

 

 

 

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