Dear Mrs. Web,
My wife and I have been married for 18 years. Last year I had a one-night stand with an acquaintance. Big mistake. I told my wife and I thought we had worked things out. Financial problems caused some additional strains in our marriage and I emotionally withdrew when she tried to help and support me. Recently my wife has started to party around with neighbors and comes home at all hours. Last week I showed up at one of the parties and she was kissing a buddy. I lost my temper and smashed windows and trashed the room. The bill came to over $2000.00 plus the emergency room costs for the gashes on my hands. She cried and apologized. I love her and our three children and I forgave her. Last night she went out partying again and was obviously focused on my old buddy. She is in love with someone else...and I know this guy he will just use her. He has been calling her all week. I don’t want to face up to the possibility that our marriage is over. What to do?
You were unfaithful to your wife. She is playing around with your buddy. You lost control and are violent. She is pulling away from you. It sounds like you both are heartbroken and acting out. You need intensive marriage counseling. Pronto! With someone who values marriage highly and knows how to put together a severely tested relationship. See the link on my blue sidebar at my website: Choosing a Therapist. Couples have come through much worse and have gone on to have vital, passionate marriages.